Blogging It's my new FB ;-)

Facebook Frustrates me. 400 people are on my "Friends" List.  50 People care about my life.  But I'm too passive/agressive right now to delete the other 350.

I've been complimented at least twice this month on my STRENGTH.

And The fact is, I'm a coward.

And I. HATE. COWARDICE.

I attended a Funeral today for Tirrell Felton.  He was in David's Unit in the Army Reserves 12 years ago.  They were deployed to Colorado together.  And I will NEVER forget his showing up to move us out of our apartment. And I'll never forget how he just packed up our room and shipped it out.

We then attended a marriage retreat a year later with him and his wife.

He made enough of an impact that last spring I saw him in a parking lot after not seeing him for 11 years, and Knew him immediately. David had stayed connected.  I however had not.  But I'm fortunate to have remedied that immediately.  I've interacted a bit with him since then, and was SHOCKED to hear of his sudden death last week.

And something clicked inside me.  And when I went to pick up the kids from my Mom, I refused to take any more of her TERRIBLY abusive lack of parenting.

That thing inside of me that clicked has been turning for a week or so, and I'm learning what it means.

And it's one more piece in the puzzle of my life.  Like the Empath and Autism revelations.

And this piece tells me that I was placed here to be a FORCE to be reckoned with.

NOT to back down.  NOT to cower.  Because My Children NEED a STRONG force of a Mother.  NOT to abuse them.  But to teach them and stand up for them.